Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Un Día de Acción de Gracias

Hola, everyone! A rebuttal post for the comments regarding my previous post is forthcoming, but today is a very special day, and I thought I'd better address it. On Facebook, I referred to today as an anniversary of my deliverance from evil (or aniversario de mi liberación del Evil, as all things seem to sound better in a foreign language), but it seems to me that a more appropriate name for today would be "Un Día de Acción de Gracias," or "A Day of Thanksgiving." Today is the anniversary of the first time (!) that the person I relied on most and I called it quits. At the time, I was completely devastated. I cite the months following as the worst period in my life, but the pain subsided with time, as it always does, and I grew stronger. Immediately following The Ordeal, I fought an inner struggle to be what I wanted to be. I wanted to be supportive (he had some emotional issues), and I didn't want to be bitter. I wanted to be happy and still be friends, but I came to terms with that idea a while ago. Sometimes you can't have both. As much as I would love to be that type of person, I am not. I knew that his post-breakup behavior was unacceptable (in an effort to maintain some decency in this post, I'm leaving the personal details out), and he made me angry. He seemed determined to keep me down, and I decided to break off ties with him completely a few weeks ago. At first I was a bit disappointed with myself. I wanted to be above the bitter ex girlfriend persona, but I came to terms with the fact that he just wasn't worth the effort.

June 23rd, 2009:
I was broken. I was bitter. I was convinced that I did something wrong, and I was convinced that no one would, or could for that matter, love me for who I was. I did not know what I wanted from life. I had no future.

June 23rd, 2010:
I am stronger. I know what I want. I have an incredible network of friends who will support and love me even when I'm convinced that no one should. I am no longer bitter from the past. I embrace it. Most may think of today as defiant praise of singledom, but it is more an expression of personal contentment. I know now that while both of us made mistakes, I wasn't solely responsible for the demise of something that had once been wonderful. And I am ready to love again.

Today, I count myself blessed to have the inner and outer strength that I did not possess a year ago. So today, I give thanks. Or gracias. :-)

1 comment:

  1. Good for you girl! It takes a strong courageous person to be able to go through something like that and become a stronger person because of it. I applaude you! :)

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