Hola, everyone! A rebuttal post for the comments regarding my previous post is forthcoming, but today is a very special day, and I thought I'd better address it. On Facebook, I referred to today as an anniversary of my deliverance from evil (or aniversario de mi liberación del Evil, as all things seem to sound better in a foreign language), but it seems to me that a more appropriate name for today would be "Un Día de Acción de Gracias," or "A Day of Thanksgiving." Today is the anniversary of the first time (!) that the person I relied on most and I called it quits. At the time, I was completely devastated. I cite the months following as the worst period in my life, but the pain subsided with time, as it always does, and I grew stronger. Immediately following The Ordeal, I fought an inner struggle to be what I wanted to be. I wanted to be supportive (he had some emotional issues), and I didn't want to be bitter. I wanted to be happy and still be friends, but I came to terms with that idea a while ago. Sometimes you can't have both. As much as I would love to be that type of person, I am not. I knew that his post-breakup behavior was unacceptable (in an effort to maintain some decency in this post, I'm leaving the personal details out), and he made me angry. He seemed determined to keep me down, and I decided to break off ties with him completely a few weeks ago. At first I was a bit disappointed with myself. I wanted to be above the bitter ex girlfriend persona, but I came to terms with the fact that he just wasn't worth the effort.
June 23rd, 2009:
I was broken. I was bitter. I was convinced that I did something wrong, and I was convinced that no one would, or could for that matter, love me for who I was. I did not know what I wanted from life. I had no future.
June 23rd, 2010:
I am stronger. I know what I want. I have an incredible network of friends who will support and love me even when I'm convinced that no one should. I am no longer bitter from the past. I embrace it. Most may think of today as defiant praise of singledom, but it is more an expression of personal contentment. I know now that while both of us made mistakes, I wasn't solely responsible for the demise of something that had once been wonderful. And I am ready to love again.
Today, I count myself blessed to have the inner and outer strength that I did not possess a year ago. So today, I give thanks. Or gracias. :-)
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
A "Feminist" Blog
I suppose I risk offending a good many people with this entry, but I hope you all read it with an open mind. I read an article posted by a friend on Facebook earlier today, and I was appalled by the narrow-mindedness of the article. It was a feminist article, and let me be perfectly frank- I am not a feminist. I am a humanist. I believe in the pursuit of happiness in individuals without letting society’s expectations hinder our actions. I get frustrated with people with agendas. The article is from the website feministing.com, and their agenda seems to be to find anything that could be construed as negative towards women and rant about it. Why do we women continue to fight where no fighting is necessary?
My view on feminism? We traded one stereotype for another and called it progress. While we have our similarities, women will never be equal to men. We cannot be, because equality implies sameness. Men and women are different. Plain and simple. We are not better or worse: we are complements to the other. I can certainly appreciate how far we've come. I like that I can have a job, that I can choose who I marry, that I can vote, etc. I love that women have more options than men have. I can be soft and sexy while being strong and self-reliant. What I don’t like is how so many feminists push their viewpoints on other women rather than appreciate those women’s opinions.
Now to the heart of the blog- the article in question. You can read it here: http://www.feministing.com/archives/021581.html. A doctor performs surgeries to shorten baby girls’ abnormally large clitorises. Feminists denounce the doctor’s actions, claiming the whole affair to be “sexual assault” and a “human rights violation.” Keep in mind that this surgery is performed in a sterile lab, with a licensed physician, with parental consent. How could this be defined as a human rights violation? That's putting it in the same league as female circumcision in Ghana. The doctor in question goes to great lengths to ensure the nerves are spared. He advocates annual exams to ensure that all is well with his patients and make sure that they lead normal, healthy lives. Yes, this is certainly appalling. What we have here are women, who not knowing what it could possible feel like to be able to be described as physically abnormal, running their mouths about things that they do not understand.
They say the view of what is normal is "narrow-minded." Are they implying that the children should grow up as they are, and maybe they could make the decision themselves later on if they would like to go through the surgery? That's an interesting take, considering so many feminists advocate abortion. The baby had no say there, did he/she? The mother can kill her child, but she's a terrible person if she seeks to make her child's life a little more normal and a little less self-conscious. What about children born with cleft palates? Should we cease correcting that birth defect too? What about the millions of baby boys who are circumcised? How many men rant about that, calling it a human rights violation? These women hear about scalpels going where ideally none would go, and raise a fuss, claiming a crime is being committed. Let's be honest here, ladies, if your clitoris resembled male genitalia, wouldn't you want that altered?
I love being an independent woman. What I do not like is being force-fed the agenda of those whose original purpose was to empower women. I don’t need or want someone else to dictate my thoughts and actions. After all, wasn’t the women’s liberation movement about releasing women from conventional thinking? Feminism has become the new convention, and I for one am not its advocate.
My view on feminism? We traded one stereotype for another and called it progress. While we have our similarities, women will never be equal to men. We cannot be, because equality implies sameness. Men and women are different. Plain and simple. We are not better or worse: we are complements to the other. I can certainly appreciate how far we've come. I like that I can have a job, that I can choose who I marry, that I can vote, etc. I love that women have more options than men have. I can be soft and sexy while being strong and self-reliant. What I don’t like is how so many feminists push their viewpoints on other women rather than appreciate those women’s opinions.
Now to the heart of the blog- the article in question. You can read it here: http://www.feministing.com/archives/021581.html. A doctor performs surgeries to shorten baby girls’ abnormally large clitorises. Feminists denounce the doctor’s actions, claiming the whole affair to be “sexual assault” and a “human rights violation.” Keep in mind that this surgery is performed in a sterile lab, with a licensed physician, with parental consent. How could this be defined as a human rights violation? That's putting it in the same league as female circumcision in Ghana. The doctor in question goes to great lengths to ensure the nerves are spared. He advocates annual exams to ensure that all is well with his patients and make sure that they lead normal, healthy lives. Yes, this is certainly appalling. What we have here are women, who not knowing what it could possible feel like to be able to be described as physically abnormal, running their mouths about things that they do not understand.
They say the view of what is normal is "narrow-minded." Are they implying that the children should grow up as they are, and maybe they could make the decision themselves later on if they would like to go through the surgery? That's an interesting take, considering so many feminists advocate abortion. The baby had no say there, did he/she? The mother can kill her child, but she's a terrible person if she seeks to make her child's life a little more normal and a little less self-conscious. What about children born with cleft palates? Should we cease correcting that birth defect too? What about the millions of baby boys who are circumcised? How many men rant about that, calling it a human rights violation? These women hear about scalpels going where ideally none would go, and raise a fuss, claiming a crime is being committed. Let's be honest here, ladies, if your clitoris resembled male genitalia, wouldn't you want that altered?
I love being an independent woman. What I do not like is being force-fed the agenda of those whose original purpose was to empower women. I don’t need or want someone else to dictate my thoughts and actions. After all, wasn’t the women’s liberation movement about releasing women from conventional thinking? Feminism has become the new convention, and I for one am not its advocate.
Monday, June 7, 2010
I Have a Weird Body
Hello, folks. It's been a while, but I haven't had anything too terribly exciting to share, so I've kept relatively quiet. The business is moving right along. The newest version was launched several weeks ago. We've got a side business involving Craigslist that we're getting started. I'm still working a few hours a week at the-place-that-shall-not-be-named. Seriously, I can't wait to get out of there for good. Should be soon! Our dryer hasn't worked for about 6 of the 7 weeks we've been living here. The landlord is too cheap. He bought us a new (well, used, but new to us) dryer the other day, and that too doesn't work. Hopefully, he'll get it fixed soon, but if history teaches us anything... laundromat, here we come! Other than that, life's pretty quiet down here.
I suppose you're all wondering about the title of today's post. I know I would be. Ahem. I've always struggled a little with my weight. I've never really been heavy, but I also never had visible abs. They're there; you just can't see 'em! Anyway, my body puts on weight from the waist downward. My arms are pretty much only good for keeping my balance. I have no meat on my shoulders or back whatsoever. A concerned guy friend once commented that I needed to put on weight because I looked "frail." Oh, if only!
Boss Man had P90X, but he forgot to bring it with him. He had it sent here, but he failed to mention that it had arrived. I finally asked him about it last night, and yes, he'd received it. I started Day 1 of this workout/nutritional regimen today, and I've realized several things:
1. I always knew that my arms were pathetic, but now I also know that I cannot do ONE proper push-up. Yet. The first DVD was almost entirely push-ups and chin-ups, with the latter being impossible because I do not have a chin-up bar. That will change. Unfortunately, if prior experience is any indication (like high school gym), it will still be impossible. This too will change.
2. My back is incredibly weak. I also did the ab workout DVD, and while I somewhat felt the burn in my abs (previous Pilates workouts and semi-regular crunches helped me with the moves, I think), I really felt it in my back. Like it might go out. I guess I'd better go easy as I work my way up.
3. I'm pretty out of shape! I thought I was okay, with the running and walking I've been doing, but... ugh, I'm gonna feel this tomorrow!
The Boys will be joining me next time. We can all be sore and cranky together.
I guess that's all I've got for today, kids. Be safe!
I suppose you're all wondering about the title of today's post. I know I would be. Ahem. I've always struggled a little with my weight. I've never really been heavy, but I also never had visible abs. They're there; you just can't see 'em! Anyway, my body puts on weight from the waist downward. My arms are pretty much only good for keeping my balance. I have no meat on my shoulders or back whatsoever. A concerned guy friend once commented that I needed to put on weight because I looked "frail." Oh, if only!
Boss Man had P90X, but he forgot to bring it with him. He had it sent here, but he failed to mention that it had arrived. I finally asked him about it last night, and yes, he'd received it. I started Day 1 of this workout/nutritional regimen today, and I've realized several things:
1. I always knew that my arms were pathetic, but now I also know that I cannot do ONE proper push-up. Yet. The first DVD was almost entirely push-ups and chin-ups, with the latter being impossible because I do not have a chin-up bar. That will change. Unfortunately, if prior experience is any indication (like high school gym), it will still be impossible. This too will change.
2. My back is incredibly weak. I also did the ab workout DVD, and while I somewhat felt the burn in my abs (previous Pilates workouts and semi-regular crunches helped me with the moves, I think), I really felt it in my back. Like it might go out. I guess I'd better go easy as I work my way up.
3. I'm pretty out of shape! I thought I was okay, with the running and walking I've been doing, but... ugh, I'm gonna feel this tomorrow!
The Boys will be joining me next time. We can all be sore and cranky together.
I guess that's all I've got for today, kids. Be safe!
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